HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
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she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I will pee on everything he values.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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