as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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