So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Did I show you my penis last night?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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