The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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