Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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