She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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