.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
