Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
