Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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