I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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