last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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