I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
