More tranny stories later!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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