I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
