The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
