I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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