Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
