she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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