the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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