dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
