It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
