Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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