Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
