I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
