.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
