I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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