if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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