I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
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his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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