I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
