nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize