i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just found puke in my bra..
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
