i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
