I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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