new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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