Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
