He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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