Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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