just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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