That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I party with great urgency now.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
