i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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