I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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