the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Alive.
So much puke
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
