before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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