Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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