.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
