i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
