i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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