can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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