um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
