I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
