I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
