oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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