she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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