nut hugger
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
