it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
