Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
