the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
