____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
