booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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