I feel great
I just peed on a car
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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