which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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