Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
