He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
