the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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