I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
