so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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