dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am spending my child support on dildos
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
