think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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