did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
