The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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