I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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